I'm blogging on xanga
hey sweethearts... view my blog on xanga: www.xanga.com/dark_aurorae
hope to hear from you soon!
Hugz,
Stephanie
hey sweethearts... view my blog on xanga: www.xanga.com/dark_aurorae
hope to hear from you soon!
Hugz,
Stephanie
*Clouded forms press in around me, but even as i suffocate, forcing my lungs to draw the polluted air that may yet sustain me, my eyes stare at the dark unknown above me and for the shortest expanse of a minute, the alpha centauri twinkles like a beam, a blinking face of possibility and hope that as the blood races bursting my veins, i claim the power i possess to wrench myself away from the shadows and mist...and lie there bare, exposed, but utterly alive....* - from "Drama of the Soul", a poem i'm working on :) part of a collection i will publish one day!
***As for moi, terror certainly had its fingers
tightly wound my trachea and i was suffocating for
weeks on end...figuratively speaking, of course: as
some of u know, the start of my new year at La Salle
was very shaky with me having serious doubts about
whether to continue this course...or take up
psychology (an area of great interest and i felt i had
what it took)...then, hours of questioning and
headaches due to overworked neurons turned my doubts
on its head and i began to realise that i didnt like a
lot of things in the course, but i couldnt give myself
a satisfactory answer as to whar else?...psychology
was foremost, but then again, so would have anythng
else that might have proved the strak opposite to what
musical theatre is...
there was even a close call in week2 and i almost went
home for good...
but these few months have been fantastic ( once i
decided to just focus on the tasks at hand
i.e.reheasals and assignments, it became much easier)
...and next week is term break so bring on the hols!
we all need it after all the work and aching muscles!
I must say the newbies ( that means our juniors) have
been just refreshing! 16 of them, (mostly aussie) so
full of passion and life that things really have
started to get interesting. For one, many romances
have cropped up and a few weeks ago alsmost everyone
was getting with everyone ( me being the exception
haha!...but thats another story ;P) and our song and
dance number "Good Morning Starshine" from Hair has us
getting pretty touchy feely with each other to say the
least! but as with all interesting and lively groups,
gossip sure travels fast and i suppose i was never one
to really keep up with it...i figure there's better
things to do with the time i have..but once in a while
a little friendly socialising is great and if the goss
is in the air, best to just breathe it in!! ;)
...and we have an amazing acting teacher this year! We
had local actor Yu Beng teach us last year and he was
good but i just never felt comfortable with his
methods, and if anythin, retreated into a shell even
more...
Jamie, our new acting guru is charismatic, but really
humble - he's just one of those people who radiate
passion for his art and i remember the first lesson
all he did was just relay to us his philosophy on
acting for the whole 2 hours and we were just rivetted
to our seats! i felt like i should have recorded it
and then go home and listen to it everynight! and
every lesson has been similar..talk about fanning the
ash and embers into a full-blown inferno! ..acting has
really been a pleasure when someone as passionate as
him is guiding us!
Max and Alia are my flatmates!!!! its been so
different not being the only one in an apartment (
last year i stayed in Tampines virtually alone)..and
it hasnt been easy financially - first we had to find
the right place which meant lengthy phone calls added
to my bills!, then we found this really breezy place
just 20mins away from school...no air-con, no fridge,
no washing machine!..first thing i tot: AAaarghh! no
air-con?!! but its been really breezy, and we just
bought a fridge..but still washing clothes by hand
kampong-style!! ...
...alia n max are amazing! putting up with me being
grumpy almost every morning, arguing about silly
things and or politics and, taking turns to whip up
delicious food for breakfast and dinner ( once we were
so low on cash we were living solely on eggs and
bread! ... and the beach is just 10 mins walking
distance!!!! YAY!!! yep, life is gooood...:)
And last week my year performed for on thurs and
friday scenes from Commedia Dell'arte (16th century
improvised mask theatre which is over-the-top, with a
lot of audience interaction!....first thing i thought:
Aaaarrgghh! we have to prance around in masks and
fruity costumes spouting verse and grunting like dogs
all for some giggles in the audience?? gee, no
thanks!! ...) but as rehearsals moved on from the
intro to the characters and improv to serious hard
work on acting that is larger-than-life but still so
undeniably human, i felt considerably humbled and
appreciative of those who make this their life's
work!... our director, Christina Sergeant, pretty well
known as a commedienne and mime artist was nice,
encouraging but firm...and nearing the show dates,
became a glorious picture of controlled frustration as
we still stumbled with lines, and having trouble being
"big" enough for the style...
...but all in all, our show was a great success! we
had our audience in in stiches and belly-laughs on
opening night, then the next day, we turned it up
notches and had bellowing and guffawing ...with nary a
quell in applause i might add!!
..once again, seeing there were only 5 of us, each of
us tackled 3 to 4 characters each! I played Isabella (
i monologue in which i get so jealous that i literally
disembowel my lover..in mime of course.. this had the
audience in fits with only momentary seconds of
silence! ...and i thought: wow, i've never found an
acting piece so serious before, and thus generating
the humour bcoz of its absurdity...becoz if the actor
finds it funny the moment he/she is performing, it
becomes egoistic and self-conscious and the audience
will not find it funny at all! whew!)
...i also played, Truffaldino ( a clown..and a mask),
Pantalone ( an old man obsessed with money...also with
mask) and a young girl in love, Agnes...we even had a
guest pianist from the music faculty accompany us! it
was awesome! well worth the hours we spent tired and
pissed dragging our feet up to rehearsal!
and yesterday, our juniors performed songs and scenes
from musicals like "If i Loved U" from carousel, and
"Gun Song" from Assassins..(in the latter Max was
positively giving me the chills as a man consumed by
his mission to cleans the world of such foul things as
capitalist US presidents! ) with such strong
performances, such competition they are and truly
great performers they will be! ..and as for me, i'm
just gonna strive even harder to be great competition
too!
YOursInEternity..
Stephanie
as i sit here typing i wonder if i've made any progress whining and discussing and intellectualising about the whole damn affair...
how did it come to this?? ...
even b4 embarking on this journey last year to pursue what interested me:musical theatre, knowing i had all the ability and spark to make it big in the industry, as soon as i got into it, perspectives change and i found myself questioning if i had made the right choice - there was so much at stake: with each passing day i was faced with challenges that eventually made me question my own identity. i saw what one had to do, to sacrifice, to live the life of a performer...in many classes, i felt myself wondering what the hell am i studying this for? theatre when i could be devoting the same time and money to studying about human behaviour...just seems to me a more productive way or something..
i know many theatre lovers would disagree with me that there's nothing better than the freedom and creativity of the performing arts world, but for me personally, i've always been happier finding out ways i can help people and in fact, enjoy it more than performing ever will...
i dunno how many of us are spiritual these days, but i need that aspect in my life and being in singapore has actually resulted in the opposite happenning...i found i had to change my views to fit in (theatre people are so very clannish that if u dont speak their lingo, u ain't part of the club) , and found myself willing to give up my principles and to a certain extent, my morality if thats how to myself noticed..and i think, this cant be it!?? i need more in life...
..but what is most scary: i going to the theatre, being with artsy people, sharing their life experiences, singing and dancing, but (i never thought i'd say this) really don't give a damn about pleasing the audience or not coz if i dont get a personal kick outta singing, etc, i feel so dejected and empty i wonder what its all about...
hey evry1! finally got my blog up and running...but warning: if ur in a good mood, skip this entry coz it aint all sunshine and butterflies..
"..there comes a time when the soul asks what is its purpose, when it is so longer satsfied with the reasonings of the rational mind, and exhausted with the heart's contant yearning..it demands to be fed..not with thoughts or feelings...but with broader horizons and clear skies..." - StephanieOlivia**
haha i wish i had taken that out of a great book of wisdom, but hey, i guess i'll have to make do with what god gave me :) not too bad i hope...i call them "5 minute inspirations" (a certain melbourne dude would know exactly what i mean as his subtle engineering mind has been subjected to many a poetic bombardment by yours faithfully and truly..and he has taken it like a man: with curiosity and wit! luv ya, dan ;D )
anyways, i begin to write this as i sit at home awaiting what is to become of me...today my 2nd year at la salle's pioneer musical theatre BA course started without me...and i wonder, have i made a mistake?? ...for those of u who have a huge question mark floating above your heads, i have come to a crossroads (actually 2 weeks ago it all started) when i began having serious doubts about whether musical theatre is right for me...started weighing the pros and cons, and began ..(to be continued)...